"Striving for Perfection Kills Creativity" ~Chris Parker

"Chris Parker personifies what IWL imparts in Women Leading Change," shared Victoria Castle, IWL coach. "She's generous, open to learning and has a big vision. She was in great shape when we began working together. Everything was working. The focus of OUR work together was to take Chris to the next level - to 'scale up' Chris and empower her to transfer her successful way of being to others."

For Victoria, an IWL coach, coaching is the most natural thing for her to do. Previously she'd worked in non-profits, running restaurants and working as convention coordinator and travel agent. About 15 years ago, Victoria started collaborating with corporate trainers and consultants providing leadership development to teams in large organizations. A few years ago, her body said 'no more travel.' Victoria changed her approach and now has local and phone clients.

In each role, she was always curious about the elements of effectiveness for people with whom she's worked. Victoria detests waste. "When people have great intentions and talents and can't fulfill on them, it's wasteful. When people work too hard for what gets produced, it's wasteful."

Victoria is a Master Somatics coach. Consistent with her curiosity about peoples' elements of effectiveness, Victoria is exploring the 'trance of scarcity' she sees in our society. "Of course for some people there have been times of true scarcity but most of us have never even missed a meal. Instead, we have internal stories about not having or not belonging. It makes our starting place one of difficulty, insufficiency, and strain."

"My mission is helping people be at the top of their games so they can make their most potent contributions and thrive at the same time. Insight is great, integration of that insight, embodying it so that the body takes on a new self that takes new, effective actions, that's what interests me." Victoria is writing a book called 'Embodied Abundance: Breaking the Trance of Scarcity' that will carry further her mission of helping people be most effective.

"There's a certain point in Women Leading Change where you create a project to practice what you're learning," said Chris. My initial project was work-related but I realized I didn't really didn't want to focus my project there. My passion and vision are to help people identify their God-given gifts and bring them forth," she adds. "I envisioned gathering 100 strong-willed women of faith to discover what would become available while doing so."

"I've used coaches in the past," said Chris. "A coach really helps to make stuff stick. I didn't seem to need one for my work but really felt I could benefit from a personal coach. I chose Victoria as my coach because there was a connection between us. I sensed that she could feed me when in doubt. She could relate to my vision of strong-willed women of faith and my frustrations. She dug into the real issues beneath the surface and was great at encouraging and challenging me in an inquiring way."

"Since my coaching focused primarily on my personal vision, I paid for it myself," continued Chris. "It was well worth the money. Victoria brought a lot to the table. She can shift gears with me. I needed someone who related to my project on an experience level. My past coach knew the skills but couldn't relate on the experience level. I like to ask prospective coaches why they want to work with me to ensure they are equally passionate about what I want to accomplish. Victoria screens her clients to ensure that she can work well with them and it was during that conversation that we connected. She's incredibly sensitive. She reads me; she asks permission to go a certain way. We humans don't always say what we mean or feel. She's good at 'peeling back the onion.'"

"A few months after WLC, Chris was promoted to VP of World-wide Customer Support at Wind River," said Victoria . "Another part of our work together was to discover what was needed for her to transfer and empower the managers with whom she works so that Chris could further step up. Chris is a 'people person' and part of the challenge that came with the promotion was to find a way to continue to be authentically connected from a distance, since she travels so much now."

"Chris' context for life allows her to operate joyfully much of the time. She has faith and gratitude and is a truly good listener. She wants to know what others care about and listens for their commitments," shared Victoria . I worked with Chris to help her realize and make visible the natural traits she already has so she could more consciously transfer them to others."

"After my promotion, I made a decision to put my strong-willed women of faith project on hold for a few months while I adjust to my new role," says Chris. "Working with Victoria has had some wonderful outcomes for me. Before WLC and coaching with Victoria , I was always reading and doing whatever I could to further develop me. Now I'm 'being' who I am instead of trying to develop into something.

" We explored what are the true elements for me to play at the top of my game," said Chris . "I've realized that in order to carry off my vision of uniting strong-willed women of faith, I need to sustain myself. I need time with family, I need time to reflect, I need to enjoy my hobbies."

"Striving for perfection kills creativity," said Chris. Since WLC and working with Victoria , " I've shifted from doing it all 'perfectly' to doing what's essential and what's the highest and best use of my time."

"Chris has definitely widened her influence and reach at work," shared Victoria . She's now sought after and mentors many people, men and women. Her direct reports are being developed as strong leaders, too."

"Now I'm putting into practice what we've already developed so far before moving ahead with my strong-willed women of faith project. I'm applying my 'ten minutes a day' strategy which is to start on my passion or vision now by allocating a minimum of ten minutes a day to it. "

As an example of the strategy Chris mentioned that reflective thinking is very important to her. Recently she noticed that she was in a low, doubting period. She noticed that her decisions weren't as sharp as usual. "I usually do my reflective thinking while listening to praise and worship music during my daily workout. I injured my back and stopped doing the workout while my back healed. I didn't think it through and also stopped listening to my music and taking time for reflection. I didn't even notice that at the time."

"I was flying home from a business trip and was trying to read and work. I couldn't get anywhere with that. Then I put my music on and began to reflect. I wondered, "What am I supposed to be learning in this time?" I felt compelled to write an email to my pastor about integrating biblical principles into the market place. The process of writing an email clarified my thoughts. Suddenly I realized, I wasn't asking God in for the little things in life, only the big things. It was as if I was relating to God like I do to my bosses at work; I only bring them in on the big things, not the little ones. I realized now that by missing my workout time I also missed my praise and worship music and my personal time with God. Just because I couldn't work out didn't mean I couldn't listen to music! I needed to give that time to God. I also started cardio again and lifted a ton off my shoulders."

"My passion is to live according to God's plan for me. I'm developing my faith so that although I can't see it, I can go with the flow," said Chris, simply.

"I'm really glad to know someone like Chris Parker is having an impact in the corporate world," shared Victoria , smiling.

Some 'tips' from Victoria and Chris for those who are considering using a coach to help fulfill your vision:

• Do not shrink your vision. Let it be as big as it can be. Be in cahoots with people who will support you in bringing it forward.

• Be really clear about what sustains you and keeps you at the top of your game for what you're passionate about.

• Understand the benefits of doing what comes naturally to you. Develop partners that compliment your natural skills so you're not the only one 'holding up the sky.'

• Distinguish between what's perfect and what's right for you .

• Take time to step back and reflect . The bigger the vision, the more you need to step back and reflect to see what needs to be done in the time frame.

• Be candid and authentic with your coach and vis versa. Operate as partners.

• Be willing to explore areas that are uncomfortable , to get disrupted, to get beyond what's known and feels good

• Laugh at yourself. Have fun.

• Use the coaching time as an opportunity to step back and talk about 'big life conversations' in the midst of busy days to help maintain perspective.

• Put into practice whatever you develop during the coaching relationship. Take time to catch up with your insights and what's important to you. Apply.

About Victoria Castle

Victoria Castle is a Seattle-based coach, consultant and an IWL coach, who works with executives and business leaders to make their most potent contribution to their organization and to the human community - and to thrive while doing it. No suffering allowed! Her book, 'Embodied Abundance,' will be published later in 2004. Email Victoria.

IWL offers follow-on coaching for IWL alumni. Please contact IWL at 650.556.8800 for information.

Volume 5, Issue 4 – October 2004